Tall Tale Tuesday 4

Yeah, so I've dated some really crazy chicks over the span of my, umm, indeterminate and undisclosed number of years. Yep, a lot of crazy ones. Even dated one that I rightfully nicknamed "Psychohosebeast". (Yes, that term was totally ripped off from Wayne and Garth. Totally.)

I dated one that was a pathological liar. Dated a sadomasochist who just loved to be handcuffed and have hot wax poured on... well, we won't say more about that one. Nearly dated one that was actually diagnosed a nymphomaniac. Seriously. But I chose NOT to.

And, yeah, I know a lot of you guys are thinking on that nympho thing and saying, "Well why not?" Well, if you know the whole truth about trying to date a nymphomaniac, you would understand. A woman like that can ruin your life. No joke. You might THINK you want sex all the time, and that's all good and well... she NEEDS it. And she will go to GREAT LENGTHS to get it. She will get you in trouble at work, ruin family occasions... I'm serious. You think I'm kidding? Think about this - does being addicted to alcohol ruin lives? Well, the end results are the same here.... I guess I need to write you the TRUE story about a friend of mine who got shafted, in every possible way, because he dated a nympho.

But that's not for today.

Today I'm going to tell you about this one nutty chick I actually dated. She dabbled in drugs here and there. And then she decided to start experimenting with them by taking them together. She'd smoke pot while dosing on LSD. That wasn't such a big deal - Deadheads and Phishheads do that all the time (please refer to my 2nd 101 Things entry for my plausible deniability clause for this one).

Another time, she drank, I dunno, a gallon of coffee in which she used cut cocaine as sweetener. Anyone who has seen the Starsky and Hutch movie has a bit of a clue as to how THAT one went. She practically dragged me all over that dance floor that night. She'd eat shrooms and then do some crank. That was ... interesting. She cleaned the house and rearranged the furniture... all in the backyard - she claimed she thought I'd built an addition to the house... one with green shag carpet and BIG skylights.

But the absolute WORST time? Yeah, that had to be the time she took speed and Midol at the same time. She had her period 6 times in one week.
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