Me Me Monday 2-44

44. but I got over it... now I like to attain and maintain a nice buzz

Yeah, I used to party hardy. I used to drink just to see how much I could drink. I used to get wasted on a very regular basis. I've passed out in strange place, got sick, thrown up, and I've had massive hangovers. Sure. Used to do that all the time. Hell, it was not far from calling it braggin' rights in college to say just how much you drank and where/when/how much you threw up, disgusting as that may be.

"Duuude. Man, I got SOOOO wasted last weekend. I ended up throwing up on, like 5 cars in the parking lot at the bar... and then I woke up behind the library. It was sooo weird, heh heh..."

I remember passing out once in the dorm at Va Tech. But not just in the dorm. Oh, hell no. I was in the bathroom. But not just in the bathroom. Oh, hell no. No, I was hanging out the window of the bathroom. And the window? It was on the FRONT side of the building - the side people walk by on their way to and from the football stadium, to and from the commuter lots... oh, yeah, I got a lot of exposure that day. And did I just pass out? OF COURSE NOT. No, I had done a massive powerchuck out the window, and it was all down there on the ground below, some 2 stories down... some of it was, yes, in my hair, caked on my face. Yeah, it was disgusting.

And could the dudes in my hall leave me alone like this? Of course not. Passing out marks you as immediate victim for pranks-a-plenty. Yep, they poured shampoo all down my back - it naturally irritated my skin so I had an ass-rash for DAYS! Yep. They messed me up pretty good. And it was one of my very best friends who saved me that day from further embarrassment.

Thanks!

Yep. So I'm over that now. WAY over it. I like to get a nice little relaxed buzz rolling along, but still maintain enough control that I can still be the funny guy, say complete sentences without slurring, and be able to drive home when it's done. I've seen too many bad things happen to drunk drivers. Seen too many victims.

I'm not trying to preach, but think about it - even for the driver, if nothing bad happens, it's bad news to get busted. My friend and I joke about seeing adults in non-bicyclist clothing riding down the street on a bike - we look at each other and simply say, "D.U.I." And then think about the insurance rates! Jesus. I shudder at the thought of an SR-22 based insurance policy. That's thousands of dollars that could be spent on lots more fun things by the time that goes off your record. I can think of a LOT of things to spend a few grand on and it's NOT an insurance policy.

Better yet, do you know how annoying some drunk people can be? They're argumentative, insist they can drive (HA!), and best of all, think they're actually CHARMING. They often fling saliva when they're "stryinggg to shpeaktpptptt". Nasty. And some are simply downright assholes when they get drunk. Could be the coollest, nicest guy around sober... but drunk? Asshole.

Ummmyeah... umm, no. Remember these words of wisdom:

Buzz good. Drunk bad.

So yeah, I save myself a few bucks when I have to be responsible - which is most of the time, seeing as somehow I always end up as the guy who is the only one sober enough to drive people home. And I save myself thousands over the long haul. It's one way I can afford a spare car like my little Del Sol - which gets me 33/40mpg... anyone remember the whole 3 bucks a gallon of gas thing? Yeah, see?

Of course, there is another reason I bought a Del Sol that's related to the drunk people thing:

It's a two seater. You do the math.

It makes it a whole lot easier to say, "Sorry, dude... I can't help you and your buddies get home - I only have a 2-seater... (and I don't want you vomiting in my car - been through that enough times). I do, however, have a cell phone and a few taxi cabs on speed dial. Let me hook you up."
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