Me Me Monday #82
it's still Monday in Japan, isn't it?


Yes, okay... I will admit it. I am forgetful and slack. But here is the Monday MeMe thing I claimed I would do on a regular basis...

82. Sure, I wish I were an astronaut

(This number was randomly generated using some website - so if you wanna get annoyed at which one was picked, blame THAT programmer, not THIS one.)

Now then, being a geeky science and math kid, I naturally wanted to be an astronaut. I dreamed of designing the next space shuttle and flying it out into space. I got into Star Trek and Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica (the original one) and I could name all the people and read/watched Cosmos by Carl Sagan. And, YES, I was a geeky science and math kid. Well, give me a break - of COURSE I was - being half-Japanese means never having to think twice in any math class. I was the one that busted the bell curve for all the other kids.

You know, it was pretty rough for me, moving to Virginia. Back in Hawaii, I was SO "IN" like Flynn. Not like the poor haole kids - nope, I was way in the in crowd - Samoan and Hawaiian and Asian friends galore, all of the popular set. Now, move forward to VA - I was WAAAAY OUT. Not only was I a geek with funny clothes but I looked furrin. (That would be "foreign" to you non-Southern folk.) I looked like this little roly-poly Asian kid... which I was... I became very popular in short order... well, popular in the sense that all the redneck kids loved to pick on and gang up on "the new funny-looking fat asian kid with glasses".

It was a lesson learn in prejudice that I have never forgotten. I remember ruthlessly picking on this one poor white girl in elementary school. I will never forget her name - Lynn Horn. There was nothing particularly "wrong" with her, other than the fact that she was, well, white. A haole. An evil invader of the island of Hawaii. The root cause of all problems there... right? Well, we were cruel kids... all kids are cruel in groups. It's just the nature of the beast for kids to gravitate to one group or another... and this poor girl was unable to group with anyone because SHE was the outcast. We used to call her "Hornytoads". I guess I got the karmic bitchslap I so fully deserved when we moved to Virginia at the age of 12. (Not a good age for a kid to move, by the way, to such a different environment). I learned that lesson VERY well. I guess all that running from the large groups of rednecks wanting a piece of kicking my ass did pay off some - I lost weight. That was good.

I also remember thinking at one point, that I would have been better off if I were black, because, in my juvenile thinking, at least the black people back each other up, from what I could tell. The Asians? Man, they just stick their noses further into their books, hid behind their slide rules, calculators, and notebooks, and whispered to each other in corners. I would guess they were saying things along the lines of "Glad I'm not THAT kid." The Asians tended to keep pretty much to themselves or stuck to their own small groups... especially if you were not of THEIR particular Asian roots... Let's face it. Asians are really some of the most racist and xenophobic peoples out there. Go to any university commons area and you will likely see this in action:

The Chinese hang with the other chinks, the Japs hang with their fellow slopes, the Vietnamese hang with their gook friends, etc. etc. And never the twain shall meet. I'm serious. To most of you non-Asians, we all look alike, so you might wonder how we could tell who to hang with. Sure, I know it's true - we're just a bunch of short, off-white colored people with slanted eyes with epicanthic folds to boot. But, really, there are differences and we rice eaters can TELL. We can definitely tell.

Now what the hell does this have to do with becoming an astronaut? Well, not much on the surface... but in order for me to survive the massive change from being on the IN crowd to being a single target for ridicule and beatings, I had to change A LOT. I used to be a quiet, shy kid. Never cursed. Hell, I used to pray immediately to God for forgiveness if I said "Hell" or even "Damn". Can you believe that? Well, needless to say, that has changed a lot in itself. I became VERY outgoing - always going an extra step beyond practical just to get a laugh. When ridiculed by the bullies, I would snap right back at them... this often confused them and gave me extra time to get out of line of sight. And rather than be the geek, I tried to be the outgoing "fun" guy. I hid my geek tendencies, and while my dream of being an astronaut remained, it remained hidden within instead.

So, the karmic bitchslap really had an effect on my outlook on all things and all people... all because I wanted to be an astronaut. (yeah, I know it's a bit of a stretch... but I had to at least make the effort to make it seem like I am making sense here...)
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