...and how was YOUR day?

A friend of mine, M*, a lovely young mother with a cool dude of a husband, G*, told me her tale of woe from just the other day...

So, her mother and grandmother came to town to visit with their child, M*. G* had had previous experiences with them, and he knew that his restful day off would be more a curse than a blessing... sometimes, that's just how it goes with the in-laws, right?

Well, mom and granny rolled into town just the other day. Lucky for G*, he was at work. (See, even having to open a store at oh-dark-thirty in the morning can be a blessing sometimes!) Mom and granny decided they wanted to go shopping with their lovely offspring, M*, but first they needed to run by the drugstore.

You know, I never knew that running over a mailbox was included in running to the store.... must be a family tradition or something cause Mom took that bitch right out. Knocked it flat, crushed, smashed, and took out one of the little driveway lights along with it.

The driveway lights were put in just last week. Can you say, "Hooray?"

So, they finally go shopping. M* drives them in her Liberty and takes them out to the big, new walkabout mall. This requires a ride on the interstate in these parts. Well, somehow, along the way, mom and granny decided to get into an argument.

Now, these are two women born and bred in THE BRONX. Do you know what women who grow up in the Bronx are like? Do I really need to go into details? Well, let's just say, to simplify things a bit, that they do not pull ANY punches. They don't exactly speak all lady-like at all times. And they certainly have plenty 'nuff New York attitude to lay it all out there. Harridan. I think that's the word I am looking for.

Well, they start with the arguing. The arguing leads to cussing... and in true New York fashion, again, no holds barred. Granny even goes so far as to call Mom a C*NT. Yeah, you read that right here...

So they get to fighting. And when I say they get to fighting, I mean they start swinging fists. Mom hits granny on the shoulder. Well old G-Ma ain't having none-o-that. Oh, HELL NO! She whips out her CANE and starts whacking on the mom with it. All this while M* is trying to drive down the interstate. Stray blows are popping poor M* in the head... so there they are, swerving down the interstate at about, oh, 65 mph, fists a flying, cuss words a-rolling...

Can you just picture this lil old lady, must be somewhere near 70 or more, whipping her cane out on her daughter, a woman who must be in her 50's, IN the car, ON the interstate, while the poor grandchild is driving?

And what up with the cane? And cussing like sailors?

Damn. Don't you just love visits from the family?

Jesus... if NOTHING else belongs on THIS blog, well... this SURELY fits.

Some straight up redneck hoo ha from New Yorkers. I love it.


Maybe it's just me, but I was so stunned that, well, I laughed my ass off about it, after the fact... of course.