Rice Crackers

They're a tasty nutritious treat and basically the Asian, albeit healthier, equivalent of potato/corn chips in the USA. Now, I want to make absolutely clear that we are
NOT
talking about the tasteless,
puffed rice hockey pucks
that the Quackie Oats people have tried to pass off on people as an edible substance. Most certainly not. I am talking about the soy-saucy or salt-sweety goodness of arare (more or less pronounced "ah-rah-reh" - so sue me, I'm NOT a linguist so my phonetics suck donkey balls!) and osembe ("oh-sem-beh").

And this news just in, they have cracked the genetic code of RICE! Yes! And strangely enough, rice has about 37,000 genes in its DNA code. Humans, by way of comparison, are genetic simpletons - we only have somewhere in the neighborhood of 20-25,000 genes. So rice is much more complex than we are... go figure.

Good thing we're at the top of the food chain, yeah?

See here about Cracked Rice

So, borrowing from the last entry, for all you nips, slopes, chinks, gooks, yo-ho's, manung, wetbacks and spics too, we'll get more of that tasty stuff we all love so well! (And that includes my relatives in the Land of the Rising Sun!)

One more thing, this is not to be confused with Minute Rice. I have just discovered that:

Minute Rice is not actually rice at all.

Nope. It is, rather, the tiny particulate matter that most styrofoam product consists of - you may have seen a passel of it on the inside of a bean bag chair, the only difference being that the Minute Rice has been compressed in a trash compactor for packaging purposes and density. Please take care in the future when consuming Minute Rice - the swelling that may occur will cause severe gastronomic distress and create noxious fumes for hours on end. (This could be useful for anyone wishing to pull pranks, or fraternities who wish to carry off a (mostly) non-lethal form of non-hazing...)

And that's all the news that fit to print and eat for today.

okay, maybe it IS rice - we just don't claim it, being elitist racist bastard know-it-alls who threw the bell curve way out of whack when we went to school with you lesser beings of non-beige/yellow/olive skintone. ;)


Stay tuned - Part 6 will be coming SOON
.
.