The TRUE Origins of...

Don't believe everything you read. I know they claim that it's the Mexican Independence Day. But who are we kidding here? Are they, dare I say it, truly independent? One can hardly accept that when their second largest source of income for their ENTIRE COUNTRY is the illegal wages paid to immigrant laborers who have done the Rio Grande Backstroke into the United States. Now, all politics aside, here is the TRUE story about the origins of this special day.

Back in the early days of colonization, England, France, Spain, and Portugal were all competing for the massive landgrab that the American continents provided them. Spain had taken an early lead throughout the North American territories and one of the fruits of their labor was the discovery of a food dressing that was created from the processing of eggs. Indeed. Mayonnaise was discovered in the Americas and, truth be known, the taste for it across the big pond of the Atlantic grew at an incredible pace. The demand for the production of this product led to numerous conflicts and trade across the Atlantic required special consideration for the safe transport of this once priceless condiment.

The Queen of Spain herself took out a special writ and ordered an entire shipload of said product for use in her palace. The ordered was taken overseas to the colonies and exhorbitant amounts of gold and silver were laid out to pay for the expense. The grand transport ship, the El Caca del Toro, was loaded carefully and set sail for Spain with all due haste. Unfortunately, it was sunk before it could ever leave sight of the coastlands of the Americas. So great was the loss in both gold and pride that they dedicated a memorial to honor the day the El Caca del Toro went to Davey Jones locker.

And that day, my friends, was called

Sinko de Mayo.

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Yeah, I went there. Have a great weekend!