Moncks Corner's Revenge - Part 5

Now, don't get me wrong. The people of Moncks Corner, for the most part (as you will see later), are fine folk. The town is a nice, quiet town, if just a bit backwater. It actually reminds me of the closing number from the South Park : Bigger, Longer, and Uncut movie, one of the finest musicals ever made:

Mountain Town Reprise

Chef:
. Everything worked out. What a happy end!
. Americans and Canadians are friends again.
. So let's all join hands and knock oppression down!
Choir:
. Good Lordy, I'm found!
The boys:
. Don't you know our little lives are now complete?
The moms:
. 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet.
Sheila:
. Super sweet!
All:
. Thank God we live in this quiet, little, pissant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one-horse,
. mud-hole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle-stop, hobmail, truck-drivin', old-fashioned, hayseed,
. inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, out-of-touch, white-trash..
The boys:
. Kick-ass!
All:
. Moun - tain town!

So, having made my disclaimer, let me continue with the tale...

I worked all day, setting up their software and fixing what was wrong. That first day went by like a charm and the shop supervisor was pleased. There was much rejoicing. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, one of the contacts from my home office had also told him that I was a pool-player. This much was true. I played in both an 8-ball and 9-ball league back in Richmond, and while I was no championship caliber player, I could hold my own against most people - I even had the occasional win against said type of competition, so I wasn't a total slouch. It turned out that the supervisor at the customer shop also liked to shoot pool a lot so he invited me for a few beers and a few racks at a local bar.

Now, let me explain something about Blue Laws to those of you not from the Bible Belt area. Blue Laws are basically a hold over from the overly-puritanical days of the colonies, and they are found in fair quantities in the Bible Belt... hence the name. The most noted of these laws are:

• no working on Sunday - you know, at first glance this looks like a good thing... but picture this - if there is NO working on Sunday, that means no grocery store, gas station, bar, restaurant, or even a movie theater can be open. This is good for forcing community building by making church about the only social activity going on, but it can be a real pain in the ass come football (and beer) season.
• no public alcohol sales - nuff said

Now in the greater area of South Carolina, the Blue Laws results in a few surprising results:

• No alcohol sales on Sunday
• No alcohol sales from grocery stores - this includes beer and wine.
• they can't sell liquor in any bottle larger than just a few ounces. This means that the ABC/liquor store can only sell those tiny little bottles you find on airplanes or in hotel wet bars. This INCLUDES bars. Go check it out - it's weird watching bartenders in action down there. Click the picture for the story... seriously
  
• In many locations, since bars are ILLEGAL, some places have "clubs" - when you are a member of a club, you can then buy alcohol beverages. So if you go to a bar, in order to buy a drink, you have to become a member. Period. Is that weird or what?

So, in order for me to just have a few beers and shoot pool with my newfound pool buddy, I had to go and fill out a club membership form and pay 5 bucks (which he paid for me - thanks, man!) to join. Once I did that, I could buy all the beer I wanted. Some places in South Carolina have, obviously, overturned these laws - mostly in the larger cities (of which there are a whole 2 in South Carolina) and the beach area, where they want their tourist trade to thrive with drunk visitors... like in Myrtle Beach.

Now then, the joint we went to was a single building establishment with a few pool tables and a bar - and they served beer in the can. Yep, classy. But we had a good enough time shooting pool and shootin the shit, as it were, but I couldn't escape the feeling that at least half that county was pointing their fingers at me and shouting "SINNER!!!"

Ah well, and so I crashed that night in the motel, ready for work the next day...
.
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