Tuesdays Gone... With the Wind...

But not me. Nope. I'm still here, in town, at work. Sometimes it's nice to feel needed, you know? But sometimes you just wanna be able to get the hell outta Dodge and not care one whit about what happens back in the hometown, back at the office...

Ah well, guess I really can't complain.... well, yes I can. I do have some talent for that, apparently, but I just don't have the same conviction about this non-rant that I do for other things... like what you name a child.

Now, just the other day, a friend of mine told me a number of different names they had in mind for their baby to be. This led to a discussion of all sorts of horrible names to avoid... yes, I have an opinion on everything and here are a few more:

• Skyler - this is not a good name for a boy... being that it is generally a girl's name
• Richard - too easy, know what I mean?
• Lemonjello and Orangello - supposedly, a "woman from the inner city" got these names from that tasty product (made from hoof) that Bill Cosby promo'd.
• Eugene, Milo, Elmer - some names died out... for a good reason
• Miles - only acceptable if your last name is "Long" . So Shelley Long could have a child name Miles... he could then work in the porn industry without changing his name.
• Elliot - "Elliott? We're not going to name the kid Elliott. No. Elliott's a fat kid with glasses who eats paste. What he needs is a real name. A name! ..."
  

The conversation then took a turn to names that kids make fun of... which led to names that adults either make fun of or immediately notice. Laronron, Ladisha, Tiniqua, Skimikma, Anfernee, Mikal, etc - any of the thousands of obvious "ghetto" names. And not because they are bad, but it will literally screw you when you go to try and get a job. It's hard enough to get a job as it is, and your name is the first thing that says anything at all about you - first impressions are key here and a name that is ghetto will simply hurt you in getting a job.

This is not my opinion on the names - it's just the result of a study or opinion poll that was conducted by others.

With all this in mind, here are some names that roll right by as good, solid names:

• John - although the kids love this one when they find out what you can call a toilet
• Mike
• Vincent - Vinny is a tough name. Who's gonna mess with someone who is likely to have 'family' in the 'garbage business'
• Nick - Nick is your buddy and I quote : "Elliott? We're not going to name the kid Elliott. No. Elliott's a fat kid with glasses who eats paste. What he needs is a real name. A name! Like Nick. Nick's your buddy. Nick's the guy you can go out and drink a beer with, and he doesn't mind if you puke in his car. Nick."

Or maybe I'm just not as cool or as smart as I think I am...

My name isn't Nick. Maybe THAT's my problem...

But I have a nephew named Nick...
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