While We Sleep Easy...

... under the blanket of liberty that many have died to maintain...

Here is a picture of my nephew's unit in Iraq. He's the one in the green uniform with the gloves on...

click the pic and it gets bigger...
zoom in, he's related to me and therefore good looking :)

Seriously, though - he's the one with dark glasses in the first standing row, 3rd from the right.

Now, if you have a chance, just take a moment out of your usual busy holiday season and retail nightmares to think of those in far away places and those here at home, who continually put their lives on the line for you and I, for our nation, for our family and our freedoms. This isn't about politics, it's about family and friends, and those who risk their lives so we can have both.

A big "Thank you" to all of them.
may you all come home safe and sound
and may happiness and joy find their way
to you, all those miles away

A Special Christmas Story...

If you were one of the lucky ones, you managed to catch the special "Christmas Story" as presented by Dick Butt Kiss & the Tight Ends -AND- Special Ed and the Short Bus Bluegrass Band.

If not, well, you missed out.

The story all began with the famed and fortunate "Uncle Daddy" as he tells his young children all about the TRUE Christmas Story, as was passed down, generation by generation, in their own... umm.. special oral tradition.

I would tell you more, but then this account would likely get shut down for its outrageously irreverent and blasphemous nature.


Suffice it to say that by the end, all are happy, there is plenty of fighting, plenty of over the top disgustingly humorous music, much laughter (if you can handle that bit about being a blasphemer), some "Barry Winger" moments, and Jesus comes out of the closet.

And, yes, Mary Magdelene is still a ho.
And looked good in tights, I might add

If (or when) they come out with a DVD of this "sure way to get into hell" production, then you definitely should do yourself a favor and get you a copy. I know I will.


And like I told them on opening night - it's good to know that if I am going to go to Hell for some of the music I have written that someone is going to get there ahead of me on the "Hell Express".... I mean, if I get First Class tickets, they're definitely getting a chartered flight.


And, just to be clear and make sure you know it, it was hilarious and worth every penny at the door.

Peace yo all and

Happy Merry Christma-hannu-kwanzaa-ka-mas to all!

Tall Tale Tuesday 6

You know what?

I

had a beer

with an alien.

It was WEIRD!

I was sittin' outside on my tractor, teachin' my dog, Luther, how to read when this flyin' saucer BEAMS me up... and inside there were all these funny creatures, with big yeller eyes and oogly skin... and they were talkin' REAL funny, like this:

"Rellim Reeb"

"Rellim Reeb"

Well all of a sudden it hits me! They was sayin' Miller Beer, only they was sayin' it BACKWARDS.

Well, lucky fer me I had a six pack of Miller with me...

and THEY JUST SUCKED IT RIGHT UP

*schluuuurrrrrpppp*

WITH THEIR FINGERS!

.
.

It was WEIRD!
.
.

And they said they was comin' back

*hummm*

So lock up yer Rellim Reeb!

Monday Monday

You know what? You would think that, by now, our company meeting a whole weekend and a day gone by, that I wouldn't still be so annoyed at what transpired.

But I am. I am still pissed off.

To try and cool my jets, as it were, here are a few phrases I've just come up with the describe the REAL reason that the division I work for has not made the glorious profits that were promised by our most esteemed "National Sales Manager" :

• He couldn't sell a sammich to a starving millionaire in Ethiopia
• He couldn't sell a Super Bowl ticket at half price
• He couldn't sell blow in a "gentleman's club"
  
• He couldn't sell a PS3 on eBay

Are ya feelin' me here? Do you get what I'm saying? As for his recent interpersonal conduct and "throw YOU under the bus" and CYA (cover yer ass) behavior he put on grand display last week, I have this to say:

• He's such a jackass that Tom wouldn't accept his myspace friend request.

And that's all I've got the patience to say without indulging in a veritable and verbose deluge of the four-letter variety.

Peace on ya
.
.

.

TGIF = This Gas Is Flammable

These were some of the thoughts going through my head as I sat through a recent company meeting:

• "Umm yaaahhh"
• "mm hmmm..."
• "yeahright... suuuure..."

Have you ever been to a corporate company meeting that was just SOOOOooo laden with bovine waste product that you actually lifted your feet off the floor so you wouldn't carry the stink home with you?

So it was with me.

Afterwards, I actually made the comment in the smoke room - don't start in on me about my bad personal habits right now, mmkay? I'm a livewire at the moment and it could get ooogly - anyway, between my smoker's coughs and hacks, I made something akin to the following comment:

"All the potential ungodly-hour noise aside, there's a good thing about the prospect of having 2 infants in my house right now - at least it makes me well-prepared for bullsh!t like this."

You know, it's unfathomable what corporate heads think of their peon employees sometimes. It makes me wonder if they actually believe their own hype, cause we at the bottom certainly don't buy into it. Some of their decisions make me wonder if they truly believe we are JUST THAT STUPID. It's not as if we didn't make it through college and get our degrees - albeit some of us, not mentioning names (like me) took a while longer to do it than others. And I'm certainly not saying you can't be smart and NOT go to college, but those of us that did AND finished with something besides a BS in Party Science (something to which I had, at one point, aspired) do have SOMETHING going on upstairs. All the peons here thus have our "papers." And it is simply and flatly insulting to us to expect us to look at the craptacular pile of garbage their handing us and believe them when they tell us it's a tasty filet mignon.

We are:
NOT
THAT
STUPID

And yet they soldier on with their difficult lives of handing this stank-laden fertilizer byproduct to us in overlarge portions.... and then they wonder why we aren't capering around in thanks for all they've "given us."

Oh yeah... they've made my list of
"First Ones Up Against the Wall When the Revolution Comes."

Have a great weekend all!

Words of Wednesday 12.06.2006

Beat.
Tired.
Dragged out.
Worn.
Walked over.

I am what I eat.
What does exhausted taste like?

You look at me and wonder how

you question why
. you doubt me
Yet struggle do I keep my sight
. and look upon you
. so happy, so bright
. and I wonder myself.
. HOW?
. WHY?

I love to play
. Performance, my love, my home
But everyone leaves
. And I have no crew
. No roadies
. And I am dismantled
. I act my age

A sign of deference
. A show of love
. or of not letting go
The moments flew on broken wings
. And I held it shining in my hand
. Burned to the bone

And now I struggle to stand

But I don't let go.

Hold on.

And tearing down
. an act of love
I must do it in my way
. it is my temple
. it is my ceremony
. it is my service

And so I load out
. my altar
. my vestment
. my accouterment
. my gear
. my stage

And weary, worn,
. I take my mobile church home...

Tall Tale Tuesday 5

Ahhh, at long last... the return of Tall Tale Tuesday!

So... where was I?

Oh yes, Tall Tale Tuesday, where almost anything can appear and nearly nothing is real!

Tall Tale Tuesday - the epic telling of semitruths aplenty!


Yes, Tall Tale Tuesday - where truthiness can be found in nonabundance!

That's right! Tall Tale Tuesday... let us begin our journey once again... So... umm, I kinda forgot where I was going with all this. Kinda got all into the big intro and forgot the tale I was going to tell... dammit. I hate it when that happens.

Ahh, well, nothing for it but to forge on ahead at full steam with this little tidbit from my past...
.
.
. . into flashback music . .
.
.
It was a dark and stormy night.

The wind blew all stormy-like... and the night was dark, hence my first statement being "it was a dark and stormy night." I mean, I wouldn't lie to you, would I? Regardless, and not IRregardless, which is NOT a word, let me go on with the telling without further interruptions.

It was a dark and stormy night.

It was the kind of night that you get when the sun goes down, the cloud cover rolls in, and there's a storm. It was stormy. It was dark. Are you getting the point yet?

Okay.... where was I?

Ahh yes, dark and stormy night, etc. etc.... The rain was coming down in buckets.... which makes it inherently dangerous to go out for a walk in... buckets tending to be a lot more painful than raindrops of any size, mind you.

Of course, that's better than it raining cats and dogs. Talk about a nasty sounding racket.

*thud* MEOW! *thud thud* woof meow *thud thuddity thud thud* woof yowl meow arf arf yipe yipe *thud thud*

And it's a mess to clean up.

Now... where was I?


... this blog entry has been interrupted by the Good Taste Society and the author has been sacked. Not sure what that means, but it does draw an interesting picture - large men in black carrying off a large, squirming sack containing one annoyed, highly hostile and dangerous to the literary environment author, namely me...

TGIF = The Grease Is Flyin'

One of the joys and banes of being a neophyte, semiuneducated, lightly experienced, intellectual wannabe motorhead such as myself is the "take it apart yourself" junkyard. For the most part, you can (as one of them advertises) "pull off your own great deal" from these kinds of places. For example, here are some recent scores - I'm not even going to bother showing the dealer prices cause, as we ALL know, dealer prices are WAY high:

• passenger window. Wholesale = 80 bucks. Junkyard = 16.99 + my own labor. Took me about 45-60 minutes to remove the window - it was a powered window, too.
• a large taillight assemby. Wholesale = 119. Junkyard = 15.00 + my own labor, which required me to disconnect one electrical plug (and I got ALL the bulbs and wiring with it!)
  
• console flap/top. Wholesale = 30-ish. Junkyard = 4.50 + 2 screws
• driver side powered seat. Wholesale = what... 300 bucks? Junkyard = 30 bucks??? Of course, I haven't finished removing it yet, so there is some more effort involved there.

Of course, don't expect any kind of warranty on electrical parts - it's all hit and miss for that stuff - and who knows how badly the last driver of this car treated his equipment... And for heavy mechanical stuff... well, you have to lug it out of there... and then you have to test it. And if doesn't work, well damn, you have to lug it back to the junkyard - so there is a large pain-in-the-ass factor you should tack on. And, of course, there's no guarantee they'll even have the make and model you need a part for, or if what they do have will fit - say you have a 93 and they have a 94 model... well, basically, you're rolling the dice and taking your chances.

Still, what a great deal? I paid 60 bucks for about 500 bucks worth of parts, all told.... and it definitely gave me large doses of "gee, lookie what I accomplished" endorphins and fed my fledgling motorhead ego with a few strokes.

And that's where the danger lies. I'm already a bit of a pack rat, according to my friends - I call myself a collector - and this place is just chock full of stuff I could score for various car projects I have at my house, not to mention the childhood dream of having my very own Fat Albert Junkyard band...

Yeah.

Danger Will Robinson indeed.